Some declared days (no clue by whom) are highly important, raising awareness about this health condition or that historic event. Others seem odd or funny like today’s National Neither Snow Nor Rain Day, which coincides with the National Feel the Love Day.
Well, thankfully, love comes in all forms and all shapes. When it comes to maternal love, it starts before our birth, with our mothers bearing us in their womb for 9 months, and continues beyond their death. We keep feeling their never-ending love even if we miss them beyond words of any language.
Bambi and her sisters recently and abruptly lost their mom. Bambi knew that her mom chose her name and expected her birth, even when many told her she will have a baby boy. Without the convenience and reassurance of an ultrasound, Robine intuitively replied “it is a girl” (coming after two girls) “and her name is Bambi”. Now, with her death, Bambi discovered that her mom had two watches: one for Lebanon and the other for Canada. If this is not love of all her children, what is it then?
Just like the official name of this ending day, Bambi feels the energy of her mom around or within her. She also has vivid memory of the love of her larger family, friends, and all the community who came, in a large number, to pay tribute to her mom, to support her dad, and to give sympathy to their daughters. Back to Canada, Bambi was overwhelmed with the love of her circle of friends as well as her colleagues who kindly expressed their condolences with kind gestures of all sorts, calls, emails, beautiful flowers, cards, food or even the traditional coffee. Just now while preparing this post, past 9 PM (time to sleep), a delivery of flowers from dear friends arrived from Hamilton, Ontario. Wow, Bambi is speechless… Again, if this is not love, what is it then?
Death is part of life and the past ten days were a condensed version of this truth. Luckily, there is love in the equation of life and death. Thanks to love for transcending death. Thanks to music too to express love and gratitude. Bambi thanks everyone and sends her heart to all and prayer (with love) to the skies. Yes, to those we love who left us and this God (le bon Dieu) she happens to believe in deep in her heart. Life is tough at times. Yet it is always beautiful with our infinite capacity to chose and live by love. Love for others, love of oneself, which makes us take care and move forward despite the deepest sorrow.
She does not know why, but Bambi often bumps into famous people on airplanes, in hotels, or in pastry shops.
Well on her way back home from the Middle East, through Europe, she bumped into Mr. Patrick Fiori. Indeed, with a heavy heart (grieving her mom), upon getting out of the aircraft washroom, she bumped into Mr. Fiori. He was waiting to visit the same place she was leaving.
Bambi was too happily surprised that she only managed to get one word out of her impressed mouth. She said “WOW” twice in a row. Mr. Fiori replied: “Je vous en prie” 🙂 [it means: you are welcome]. Poor guy who must have thought he met the craziest deer on earth in the skies. Anyhow, despite her deep sorrow, seeing this much talented international Marseille-born singer made Bambi’s day (unless it was evening time in her jet-lagged brain?).
To end this brief post on a musical note, and if you wish, you may listen to Fiori singing in Corsican (his mother’s native language) and French. One of his French songs, which Bambi likes, is about Armenia (where his dad originally comes from).
Bambi’s dad is FULL of courage mixed with an inspiring love for his family. This song seems to be written by Grégoire specifically for him as he navigates his grief journey. It is entitled “Je t’envoie mon courage” [“I send you my courage“]. Merci papa ❤️. Thank you for being who you are. We all love you so much. Please take good care.
A few months ago, this blog featured Ms. Zeina Farah’ musical talent. Of course, there will be another post on Zeina’s songs, both joyful and spiritual ones.
This being said, a BIG thanks to Zeina for the Byzantine chant prayers at the funeral of Robine, Bambi’s mother. May her memory be eternal.
Ms. Farah’s pure voice, in which she put her heart and soul, was surely heard in heaven. Indeed, what a beautiful tribute to Bambi’s mom. Thank you.
In conclusion, Bambi will leave you with a Greek Orthodox Arabic prayer entitled “Ayouha l moutaraddi“, which is performed by Zeina. Bravo to her!
Roula, Bambi’s eyes are filled with tears, reading your beautiful tribute to your mom. Thank you!
Published in L’Orient Le Jour on September 1st, 2023
Roula’s French article, shown above and published in the L’Orient Le Jour today, can be found here: https://shorturl.at/iqyX1. Below is a quick English translation, thanks to Mr. Google Translate, Bambi’s loyal friend:
“To Robine Fiani Azar, my mother
Writing to you, I’ve done it hundreds of times, Mom, but never publicly. As you take off, I speak to you one last time, just to see your name printed in black and white before the eyes of the whole world. You who lived your life discreetly in the shadow of us all, you deserve the light.
I’ve missed you for a while now, Mom, long before your sudden departure, when my sisters and I and all your grandchildren were out of the country.
I’ve missed you for a while now, Mom, ever since this country tried so hard to drain you of your energy, your serenity, your joy of living, gradually killing you on a daily basis without mercy. Tired, you were, exhausted. From the explosion of August 4, 2020, the collapse of the pound, the shortage of medicines, the heat that the generators’ electrical supply was no longer able to adequately combat…
I miss you already, mom. Nothing will be the same without you. Now I must learn to live in your absence, to reinvent myself without your gaze. I also have to imagine new ways of communicating with you, of telling you that I love you, of feeling your presence, of seeing myself with your eyes.
I miss you already, mom. Nothing will be the same without you.
Your eldest“.
In conclusion, following Roula’s heartfelt tribute to our mom, Bambi would like to share two beautiful pictures of her parents, Antoine and Robine. These will be followed by: (1) words of wisdom transmitted to the family by Olga with love (Ontario, Canada); (2) a soothing Arabic song by Fairuz from the sweet Greta (Québec, Canada). The lyrics of the latter, which is entitled “I believe“, appear at the end of this post in English (https://shorturl.at/bckxJ); and (3) a prayer in French from Smith (Ontario, Canada). Lovely musical discoveries. Bambi will surely re-listen to these spiritual songs once back home. Thank you. Many thanks to all those who kindly shared poems and wise or sweet words (including you Sita from out of the Netherlands) 💜.
“Ce n’est qu’un au revoir” Mama Habibi: Bambi did not expect to tell you “may your memory be eternal” now… but life and death always seem to know how to surprise us with their apparently mysterious timing. In the end, despite our DEEP sorrow, it is simply your time to leave our world now.
This post is the toughest EVER, but Bambi insists on trying to pay a tribute to her mom to the best of her capacity, even if she is speechless now. Indeed, her jet lagged brain has been confused by wonderful celebrations of love (Mabrouk again Michael and Stéphanie ❤️; Robine’s pride and joy), which went hand in hand with a bitter process of acceptance of an imminent death. Not any end of life since it is her own mom’s death… Yes, the finality of the one who has given life to the groom’s mother and to her two sisters, including Bambi.
May the memory of Robine Eliah Fiani be eternal…
Robine Fiani-Azar, Bambi’s mom gave her, and her sisters, roots and wings. If Bambi loves personal freedom, it is because of her mom. If Bambi is grounded, as much as possible, it is because of her mom. If Bambi followed her dreams in her personal and professional life, it is due to the agency fostered by her mom (and dad). If Bambi believes in romantic love, it is because of her mom and dad with their 64 years together as a couple, including a 57-year-long married life. If Bambi (and her spouse) adjusted to three recurrent miscarriages, while growing through this life journey, it is because of her mother’s wise advice and outlook in life. Same for her censorship saga, thanks to her mom and dad’s continuous love and support. Last but not least, Bambi’s biggest source of inspiration in life, especially her reproductive one, was again her mother, Robine. The latter unfairly lost her first newborn (who would have been Bambi’s brother). Earlier in her childhood, she went through adversity, especially at age 10 with the loss of her own mom (with her baby-fetus). Yet, Robine never complained, never saw herself or forced others to see her as a victim. Instead, she preferred to live her life with dignity and agency, in addition to love.
Talking about love, here is how Mr. Georges Abou Araj, Robine’s 50-year-old dear neighbour (owner of L’Objet, the store across from her balcony) described her. His original French follows the quick English translation:
“An angel has left us. Yes, an angel left us. Robine was my neighbour for more than half a century and, day by day, I had the privilege of her friendship. Never during all this period did I see her revolt even when the situation had become intolerable. I got to know her in the hard days, she was always the same lovely, decent, helpful, and always selfless human being. In life I have met many people but Robine has always known how to rise above the little things. A true “lady”. Robine has always been an angel, and today she is an angel among angels, she has regained her place in a better world. Everyone who knew her, I’m sure will miss her. My sincere condolences to Tony to his daughters and their families and to all who knew and loved her”.
GAA
“Un ange nous a quitté. Oui un ange nous a quitté Robine a été ma voisine pendant plus d’un demi-siècle et de jour en jour j’ai eu le privilège de son amitié. Jamais durant toute cette période je ne l’ai vu se révolter même quand la situation était devenue intolérable. je l’ai connu dans les jours difficiles, elle a toujours été la même personne adorable décente et toujours serviable altruiste et désintéressée. Dans la vie j’ai connu beaucoup de personnes mais Robine a toujours été la personne au-dessus des petitesses. Une vraie ” lady”. Robine a toujours été un ange, et aujourd’hui elle est un ange parmi les anges, elle a retrouvé sa place dans un monde meilleur. Tous ceux qui l’ ont connue, j’en suis certain vont la regretter. Mes sincères condoléances à Tony à ses filles et leurs familles et à tous ceux qui l’ont connu et aimé“. GAA
Many thanks to Georges for his deeply moving public words (on social media), which moved the heart of Antoine who is grieving his beloved wife. In turn, Bambi allowed herself to share them with her readers, as a tribute to her mom.
From this superb tribute, Bambi now wants to share a beautiful video at the very end of this post. The latter shows what Robine’s most caring daughter AND friend, Roula Azar-Douglas, did to honour her parents in Athens, 2-3 days ago, as the mother of the groom (in addition to taking care of Robine until her last breath across the miles…). She read a meaningful and powerful text to Michael and Stéphanie, which was carefully chosen by his grand-parents. Through her excellent reading (and pronunciation) in standard Arabic, Roula reminded the bride and groom, along with their guests, of the meaning of love. Those deep words, by Gibran Khalil Gibran (1883-1931), were taken from The Prophet (available publicly at https://poets.org/poem/love-8; English is followed by Arabic; just like Fairuz’ song, which Robine was very fond of).
In conclusion, as Father Joe (the wedding’s priest) said: love is about creativity, sacrifice, word/act, as well as resurrection (or hope of life). He was talking about romantic love (+ Christ’s love). Well, today, it is Robine’s and Antoine’s love to us all and to each other. It is also our love and gratitude back to them. Antoine’s incredible sacrifice to allow his daughter to keep enjoying her son’s wedding. Roula who did the same with her own son. Robine who has been the ultimate example of a reserved (or private) yet most powerful love… to us all. Bambi thanks her family and especially her mom. She loves you beyond words and death. Fly in peace mom. Your memory will be eternal … in all our hearts.
“Then said Almitra, Speak to us of Love. And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said: When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself He threshes you to make your naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks. He grinds you to whiteness. He kneads you until you are pliant; And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.
But if in your heart you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure, Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy; To return home at eventide with gratitude; And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.”
Arabic lyrics now…
2. المحبة…
حينئذٍ قالت المترا: حدثنا عن المحبة.
فقال:
إذا المحبة أومت إليكم فاتبعوها,
وإن كانت مسالكها صعبة متحدرة.
إذا ضمتكم بجناحيها فأطيعوها,
وإن جرحكم السييف المستور بين ريشها.
إذا المحبة خاطبتكم فصدقوها,
وإن عطل صوتها أحلامكم وبددها كما تجعل الريح الشمالية البستان قاعاً صفصفاً.
***
لأنه كما أن المحبة تكللكم, فهي أيضا تصلبكم.
وكما تعمل على نموكم, هكذا تعلمكم وتستأصل الفاسد منكم.
وكما ترتفع إلى أعلى شجرة حياتكم فتعانق أغصانها اللطيفة المرتعشة أمام وجه الشمس,
هكذا تنحدر إلى جذورها الملتصقة بالتراب وتهزها في سكينة الليل.
***
المحبة تضمكم إلى قلبها كأغمار حنطة.
المحبة على بيادرها تدرسكم لتظهر عريكم.
المحبة تغربلكم لتحرركم من قشوركم.
المحبة تطحنكم فتجعلكم كالثلج أنقياء.
المحبة تعجنكم بدموعها حتى تلينوا,
ثم تعدكم لنارها المقدسة, لكي تصيروا خبزاً مقدساً يقرّب على مائدة الرب المقدسة.
كل هذا تصنعه بكم لكي تدركوا أسرار قلوبكم, فتصبحوا بهذا الإدراك جزءاً من قلب الحياة.
غير أنكم إذا خفتم, وقصرتم سعيكم على الطمأنبنة واللذة في المحبة.
فالأجدر بكم أن تستروا عريكم وتخرجوا من بيدر المحبة إلى العالم البعيد حيثما تضحكون, ولكن ليس كل ضحككم; وتبكون, ولكن ليس كل ما في ماقيكم من الدموع.
المحبة لا تعطي إلا ذاتها, المحبة لا تأخذ إلا من ذاتها.
لا تملك المحبة شيئاً, ولا تريد أن أحد يملكها.
لأن المحبة مكتفية بالمحبة.
***
أما أنت إذا أحببت فلا تقل: “أن الله في قلبي”, بل قل بالأحرى: “أنا في قلب الله”.
ولا يخطر لك البتة أنك تستطيع أن تتسلط على مسالك المحبة, لأن المحبة إن رأت فيك استحقاقاً لنعمتها, تتسلط هي على مسالكك.
والمحبة لا رغبة لها إلا في أن تكمل نفسها.
ولكن, إذا أحببت, وكان لا بد من أن تكون لك رغبات خاصة بك, فلتكن هذه رغباتك:
أن تذوب وتكون كجدول متدفق يشنف آذان الليل بأنغامه.
أن تخبر الآلام التي في العطف المتناهي.
أن يجرحك إدراكك الحقيقي للمحبة في حبة قلبك, وأن تنزف دماؤك وأنت راض مغتبط.
أن تنهض عند الفجر بقلب مجنح خفوق, قتؤدي واجب الشكر ملتمساً يوم محبة آخر.
أن تستريح عند الظهيرة وتناخي نفسك بوجد المحبة.
أن تعود إلى منزلك عند المساء شاكراً: فتنام حينئذ والصلاة لأجل من أحببت تتردد في قلبك, وأنشودة الحمد والثناء مرتمسة على شفتيك.
Roula reading Gibran Khalil Gibran’s text on love (chosen by Robine and Antoine for the bride and groom, our dear Michael & Stéphanie)
“Notre chère Claire, c’est à ton tour de te laisser parler d’amour…” . Yes, Bambi is singing now. Lucky you, along with the readers of this blog, because you can’t hear her frog’s voice! Happy Birthday to you dearest Claire from Bambi, Louis, and all the family “tribe” in Canada, Lebanon, and… Greece as well :). Bambi and your nephew, who love you beyond words, wish you a wonderful day!
Bambi will forever remain grateful for Nayla’s late dad who gave a little push to destiny, asking their elementary school if his daughter and Bambi could be in the same section of their class. Since then, a sisterhood was born, not just a friendship.
Nayla has enriched Bambi’s life and inspired her in so many ways, which are hard to put into words. Of course, like real sisters, at first they had their funny moments of little fights, in addition to their MUCH bigger and frequent moments of fun, humour, care, loyalty, and a deeply fulfilling friendship. The latter stood the test of time, civil war, migration, and other related hardships, along with many blessings.
When Bambi left Beirut at age 17, she had the impression that, if her life was a book, it would be written in two volumes called: Lebanon and Canada. In a few seconds, under heavy shelling and in-between street fights, back from a trip to Cyprus to the Canadian Embassy, she and her family said their good-byes to their loved ones while quickly packing. This felt like an abrupt end of the first volume of her life. Indeed, there were tears with everyone. Shy smiles or crazy laughter, along with the tears. Not with Nayla. They left each other with a waving hand in the air (after a hug), as if they would see each other the next day… at least with the same apparent certainty, even if in reality war always had the power to not let them see each other, ever again, at any point in time.
For years, the two childhood friends exchanged letters by mail (which took an entire month to reach both destinations) or via loved ones, who travelled between Montreal and Beirut back and forth. Then, for some time, they found themselves back to being neighbours in Montreal, just like in the olden times in Beirut. Later, there were many summer or Christmas holiday trips to Lebanon where they saw each other again. Not a long time ago, there was a very quick yet enriching tea-time in Montreal. Of course, the connection with childhood friends is always magically instant. No matter the age. No matter the place. No need for lengthy words to catch up on. It always feels as if they had left each other the day before… just like this unforgettable June 16, 1990.
Of note, Nayla is an integral part of this blog, enriching it with interviews and her lucid insights, following the Lebanese financial crash and the surrealistic Beirut explosion. Her husband is also a reader and a contributor. To both of them and their beautiful children, Bambi sends her love and fond regards. Just like Bambi’s own parents, Nayla and Rony brought their children to safety, far away from their beloved and troubled birth country. It is not easy to be parents at any time. Imagine during armed conflicts, a historic economic crisis, a pandemic, and a double blast. Surely it is also not easy to be migrating parents, adjusting to a new life in an adoptive country (during its lockdowns) while caring for their children’s own adjustment. This is why they have Bambi’s utmost respect and admiration.
In conclusion, now that Bambi celebrated her 43-year-old friendship with Nayla in just a few words, she would like to wish her a Happy Birthday :)! She urges her to continue to be what she excels the best at: her authentic and beautiful self; of course, in addition to all the inspiring rest, that is her multiple hats of the wonderful spouse, mother, daughter, sibling, friend, etc. Thanks “Nayoul” for being a third sister in Bambi’ life ❤️.
Bambi would like to thank Louis for sharing a True North interview chat between the courageous and clever Ms. Rupa Subramanya and her brilliant guest, Mr. Ari Goldking. What a refreshing discovery. Bambi encourages you to listen to this discussion about “the woke takeover” of the justice system of Canada, whether you believe it is a noble approach or not.
The late Dassin was known to be the most American French singer. Mainly famous for his superb French melodies, he recorded songs in several languages, including English, German, Spanish, Italian, and Greek.
When Bambi was eight-year-old, she and her family were on a trip to Russia and Ukraine when they were shocked, like the entire world, by the death of Mr. Joe Dassin. Of note, the hotel they were staying at kept playing his songs over and over, as a spontaneous tribute.
What happened to Mr. Joe Dassin? On that unforgettable August 20, 1980, he was only 41 years old when he died from a heart attack. The tragedy happened during his family vacation in Tahiti. Forty-three years later, his legacy remains as alive as ever.
Thanks to Mr. Joe Dassin for his INCREDIBLE talent and may his memory be eternal. Bravo to his two sons for contributing to keep his legacy alive. Same for all the talented singers who know how to melt our hearts with his unique songs.
