Month: June 2025

What does friendship mean to you in this season of your life?

Whom do you (still) call “best friend” and why?

Regardless of this person or the relationship between the two of you, a best friend is simply someone you—or your heart—have selected to be part of your life. In other terms, it is your chosen family.

For a friendship to blossom, there must be key basic ingredients, which could be mixed In infinitely unique ways: affection (or love), respect, honesty, faithfulness, transparency, empathy/support, and trust. A genuine, healthy friendship requires mutuality. As needed, it might also require a will to forgive and/or seek forgiveness.

However, forgiveness requires the ability to acknowledge when we make mistakes or hurt our friend. Like any other relationship, friendships require work; neither emotional laziness, nor toxic pride (arrogance). This means the following: direct communication, compromises as needed, and a mutual will to nurture the friendship in order to keep growing together.

Bearing the above thoughts in mind, and adding your own insights, are you being a good best friend to your so-called “best friend”? How can you celebrate this friendship; not only today (https://shorturl.at/YQnQx), but in persistent and truly mutual ways?

Ms. Andrée Maillet is a Québec novelist, poet, essayist, and journalist. She began writing at age eleven. She became a correspondent in the United States and in Europe. Her career in journalism lasted from 1943 to 1952 (https://tinyurl.com/r767w2h4).

Ms. Andrée Maillet was married to her great love, Dr. Lloyd Hamlyn Hobden (https://tinyurl.com/3zt2y8p9). Like her, the latter was passionate of the French language. Indeed, he earned a doctorate in French literature from the Sorbonne. Of note, he lived a heroic life. Indeed, when he was a student in Paris at the beginning of World War II, he quickly enlisted to fight Nazism. He did it as an officer of the Canadian Scottish Regiment in France, the Netherlands, and Belgium. He got involved in the Normandy campaign in June 1944, which resulted in him being named “Chevalier of the Legion of Honour” (https://tinyurl.com/3zt2y8p9).

To come back to the great Ms. Maillet, in 1974, she was named to the Académie des lettres du Québec. In 1978, she was named an officer in the Order of Canada. Twelve years later, she received the Athanase-David Award (https://tinyurl.com/r767w2h4).

May Ms. Andrée Maillet’s memory and the memory of her spouse be eternal. This being said, now is the time to leave you, dear readers, with some of this Canadian’s deep insights. The original French follows the bold translated English. Of course, Bambi would be totally ungrateful if she does not acknowledge the prompt assistance of Mr. Google Translate, her loyal online friend.

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“War is not really a game between men. It is first and foremost a game of events, thoughts, peoples, interests, and feelings, and it is the game of Freedom, Faith, Peace, and familiar abstractions.

 La guerre n’est pas vraiment un jeu d’hommes. C’est d’abord un jeu d’événements, de pensées, de peuples, d’intérêts, de sentiments, et c’est le jeu de la Liberté, de la Foi, de la Paix, des abstractions familières.

Memory is one of the most bizarre faculties of our intelligence. We really can’t trust it.

La mémoire est l’une des facultés les plus bizarres de notre intelligence. On ne peut vraiment pas s’y fier.

We never escape reality as long as we are lucid.

Jamais on n’échappe à la réalité tant qu’on est lucide.

Before you can make someone happy, you have to be someone yourself.

Avant de pouvoir faire le bonheur de quelqu’un, il faut être quelqu’un soi-même.

Isn’t each of us the vigilant guardian of our own sadness?

Chacun de nous n’est-il pas le gardien vigilant de sa propre tristesse?

La langue c’est notre vraie race, notre vraie patrie.

Language is our true race, our true homeland.

The harm that hurts us isn’t the harm that happens to us, but the harm we do to others.

 Le mal qui nous fait mal, n’est pas le mal qui nous arrive mais le mal qu’on fait aux autres.

Life has only one meaning: a line that runs from birth to death. The rest is just embroidery.

La vie n’a qu’un sens : une ligne qui va de la naissance à la mort. Le reste n’est que broderie.

You have to learn to walk alone in life.

Il faut apprendre à marcher seul dans l’existence.

Some beings are like quicksand; do not enter into their intimacy for fear of being swallowed up.

Certains êtres sont comme des sables mouvants; n’entrez pas dans leur intimité de peur d’être engloutis.

Can one survive passion? What a question! We should ask ourselves if we can self-destruct without it.

Peut-on survivre à la passion? Quelle question! Il faut se demander si on peut s’achever soi-même sans elle.”

Bambi remains fascinated by how Will, her dear friend and fellow Sackville citizen, kindly warned her about the threats of the latest imminent attacks on Beirut from out of Canada before she heard about the warnings herself (still visiting her family in Beirut). Thanks to him for his digital quickness, online savviness, and for his concern.

This being said, it was deeply heart-breaking for her to watch the night of horror on TV and witness, once again, the suffering of people. She also smelled what seemed like a fire (roughly a 10-minute-drive away) while chatting with her sister who was hearing the scary sounds (roughly a 5-minute-drive away). She remained glued in front of the TV, watching scared people fleeing on foot or in motor vehicles before the air raids. At all times, such a hopeless scene is tragic to watch. It is even more so on the eve of a “Eid” [Feast] where people are supposed to be celebrating, not running for their lives and losing loved ones or their apartments. May the Adha Eid’s blessings and joys, on pause yesterday night, resume in people’s surviving homes and aching hearts.

Of note, Bambi still does not know if there were any casualties. She could not find any stats on injuries or deaths in the online Lebanese media this morning. Did the attacked buildings truly include drone factories, as pretended by the attacker? And if so, was it fair or wise to destroy them in this manner? And again if so, is it fair and wise to produce them among the innocents? And if not, why the lies and the cruelty?

All these questions and Bambi does not understand the complex games of wars, military or political, among the word’s big nations. It is neither her expertise, nor her interest. She only knows that she loves her birth country, especially its charming capital, with ALL its people. Indeed, she prays for the safety and dignity of all the innocent people caught in the middle of fire and of collective insanity. Of course, beyond the borders of tiny Lebanon, she also prays for the safety of all the innocent people everywhere, and whomever they are, without any exception. Enough of wars, fear, hatred, and retaliations. How to break the endless cycles of violence in the Middle East? What about finally working for peace and thus for the will of life and even the will of love?

Also known as the “Feast [or “Eid”] of Sacrifice”, Eid al Adha is all about the love of God. Indeed, it commemorates Abraham’s story of willingness to sacrifice his own son, just for the sake of his loyalty to and love of God. However, at the very last moment, a sheep miraculously replaced the son. Yes, God did not want Abraham to offer his son. Hence the replacement of young child with the animal.

Of note, Eid el Adha is a shared feast between Muslims and Druze around the world.

What is Islam, to begin with? “It is a major world religion, founded by Muhammad in Arabia in the early 7th century ce… Islam is a strictly monotheistic religion, and its adherents, are called Muslims” (https://tinyurl.com/3k7dpu3u).

Muslims consider “the Prophet Muhammad as the last and most perfect of God’s messengers, who include Adam, Abraham, Moses, Jesus, and others” (https://tinyurl.com/3k7dpu3u).

What about the Druze? They are “a prominent religious community of more than a million people” (https://tinyurl.com/3u7dmxk5). Interestingly, they are spread mainly across Syria, Lebanon, Israel, Egypt, Jordan, and China.

“The Druze emerged in Egypt in the early 11th century as a branch of the Ismaili sect of Shiite Islam. They are monotheistic and call themselves “muwahhidun”, or unitarians”. “Highly secretive”, the Druze faith “includes mystical elements like reincarnation” (https://tinyurl.com/3u7dmxk5).

During this time of joyful celebrations, it is common for people celebrating Adha to sacrifice a sheep, sharing it among family members and friends while “distributing some meat to poor people” (https://tinyurl.com/4x56stw9).

Happy Eid el Adha! May it be both blessed and fun for all those celebrating it!

“Leo, The 3 Keys” is a great book to read. Indeed, Mr. David Schields’ book is about a boy called Leo, the son of bakers who one afternoon began questioning the career path all traced before him. He wondered if “this is what all life has in store for him… forever destined to be the son of a baker“. Does this mean that he won’t ever experience adventures similar to those he reads about in his books? Despite being raised in a beautiful village, he never felt he truly belonged anywhere in it.

All the above was true… up until he discovered a mysterious garden, which is described in this outstanding book. The latter is not just a journey in a charming garden. Cleverly, it is also about someone finding himself through this external mysterious journey.

The author’s writing style is simple and clear, yet rich. Indeed, Mr. Shields’ clarity and beauty of the language are striking, so is the depth of his expression. Indeed, his writing style is filled with nuances and enriching subtleties. His book is written in a language accessible for kids while being captivating for the inner child within adults.

The imagination of the the writer, Mr. Dave Schields, is refreshing. An example of a paragraph Bambi particularly enjoyed can be found in Chapter 5, entitled “The singing stones”: “I closed my eyes for a moment, letting the melody fill my mind. I focused on the rhythm, on the way the stones seemed to hum with energy. Slowly, I began to move again, feeling my way through the maze, stone by stone. Each time I touched the right stone, the melody shifted, the vibrations growing stronger. When I made a mistake, the hum would falter, and I’d have to adjust my path.”

Of note, Mr. Shields’ elegant writing talent is harmoniously matched by his spouse’s most beautiful illustrations. Yes, Ms. Joëlle Shields’ illustrations are a masterpiece. They do an excellent job in announcing the chapters of the book. As examples, you can see a few of them below.

One thing is sure. If Bambi had children, she would have bought them Mr. Schields’ books (he is highly productive). Thankfully, she now knows what gifts to offer to the children of friends and relatives. She trusts that their parents will enjoy reading them as well. Please keep writing, Mr. Dave Schields and keep drawing, Ms. Joëlle Schields. Your professional collaborations are as beautiful as the love that unites you!

As Dr. Les Carter often reminds us (https://tinyurl.com/4dd69f4c), “stating the obvious, something is not right inside narcissists. For perspective, remember that we humans are hard-wired for relationships, for love and connection.  Literally from Day One we seek out those who can become our safe harbor, and we find contentment as that effort succeeds.  Essentials like trust, empathy, and psychological well-being can flourish when properly nurtured. As you consider the traits of narcissism, you can easily wonder: What went wrong?  Instead of fostering safety, many traits interfered with healthy relationship development”.

Bearing the above in mind, Bambi was happy when she learned that there is a full day devoted to raising awareness about narcissistic abuse since 2016. It is the “World Narcissitic Abuse Awareness Day” and is highlighted on June 1st. As well stated on its website (https://tinyurl.com/4rcznmwj): “unlike physical abuse, narcissistic abuse leaves no physical marks. A form of psychological and emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse is invisible and difficult to prove. Yet, its effects are lasting and harmful”.

One must keep in mind that narcissism is a personality style, to cite Dr. Ramani Durvasula. Like any personality style, it exists on a spectrum. Of course, not all emotional abusers have narcissistic traits or are narcissists (with a disorder of kind of inflated grandiosity and self-esteem, https://tinyurl.com/eate5u2x), as we learn from Dr. David Hawkins’ 40 plus year-long practice. However, all narcissists resort to emotional abuse.

To conclude this post, Bambi will first borrow the beautiful epigraph in Dr. Darren Magee’s book, “Surviving Other People’s Self-Esteem: The Lengths Some People Go to Just to Feel Better Than Others”. The epigraph goes likes this: “Life is ten percent what happens to us, and ninety percent how we react to it.” – Dennis P. Kimbro. Second, she will end with the late Ms. Eleanor Roosevelt’s famous saying “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent“. Self-education is key for empowerment, healing, and personal growth.

Luckily for all of us, in this day and age, we have fast, free access to several resources on narcissistic abuse. This can empower and support those of us who are moving away from toxic relationship. It can also teach some of us tips of self-protection, even when “no contact” is not possible or wanted (e.g., a family member, a co-parent, a boss, etc.). Most importantly, it may also help us avoid potential narcissists in the future (learning about red flags and trusting one’s intuition). Of course, if anyone is in danger (i.e, risk of physical harm), he/she should get immediate help.