This morning, upon waking up, Bambi read a funny (i.e., sarcastic) article of Mr. Richard Matineau published in the Journal de Montréal (https://bit.ly/3cDtkvD) about the latest news out of Ottawa likely about the name of this new action plan (https://women-gender-equality.canada.ca/en/free-to-be-me/federal-2slgbtqi-plus-action-plan.html). Here is a quick translation for you, thanks to Mr. Google Translate. Oh by the way, before you keep reading this post, if your sense of humour and critical thinking have not been surgically removed, it would be safe to continue reading. If not, there are many other alternative activities you can chose to do to protect yourself from something called intellectual diversity. You have been warned :).
“This weekend, the Trudeau government made a big decision that will permanently and fundamentally change the country.
But because of the Québec election campaign, this news — what am I saying, this bomb! — went completely unnoticed.
A COURAGEOUS GOVERNMENT!
Imagine that the Trudeau government changed the acronym for sexual diversity in order to highlight Indigenous communities.
Before, it was LGBTQI+2E.
L for Lesbian, G for Gay, B for Bisexual, T for Transgender, Q for Queer, I for Intersex, and + for everyone else i.e. asexual, pansexual, agender, the one who is content with masturbation, “et tutti quanti” [and everyone].
Not to mention the 2E which means “Two Spirits” or “Two Spirit”, an important term in certain indigenous cultures, which designates a person with a female spirit and a male spirit living in the same body.
The problem, the scandal, the shame, is that the “2E” was located AFTER the LGBTQI+.
Yes, sir — sorry: yes, an individual with a penis!
As if Indigenous bi come AFTER non-Indigenous bi!
But now, thanks to the courage, determination and composure of our Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who stops at nothing, and when I say nothing, it means nothing, to improve the fate of the people of Canada and expand our horizons, the 2nd will come BEFORE the LGBTQI+!
It will no longer be LGBTQI+2E, but 2ELGBTQI+!
Do you see the difference?
WE TACKLE THE REAL PROBLEMS!
Apparently on Sunday, on the reserves, the members of First Nations were crying so much they were relieved.
“Finally! We have adopted an acronym that treats us with respect!”
In some reserves, they were so happy with Justin Trudeau’s announcement that they interrupted the walk they have to do every day to get drinking water to celebrate!
This is Canada!
We don’t just talk through our hats here. We tackle the real problems!
Justin Trudeau does not pretend to be interested in the fate of Indigenous people! He is not content to be photographed with feathers on his head!
He acts! He comes running! He takes the bull by the horns and shows the rest of the world the way forward!
A COMPLICATED ACRONYM
You will understand that I am being ironic…
Aren’t there other more pressing problems currently plaguing Indigenous communities?
I don’t know… Poverty? Drug addiction? Lack of drinking water? The mysterious disappearance of hundreds of women? Criminality?
No.
For Justin, the important thing is where the “2E” will be placed in the acronym used to refer to members of sexual minorities.
Here is a man of action! Who has the priorities in the right place!
By the way, speaking of that acronym…
Can we just say “sexual minorities”?
It seems to me that it would be less confusing. And that would include everyone. Those who have sex, those who don’t have sex, those who just have sex on Saturday nights when there’s no hockey…
Because at the rate we are discovering new sexual minorities, soon we will call it the ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ1234567890+.
We will have to add letters to the alphabet.”
Speaking of Ottawa, our transexual Alderman and former man Catherine McKenney (not to be confused with Trudeau cabinet minister Catherine McKenna) is running for Mayor. But he/she/they McKenney is bi-spirited, so I wonder what will happen when she takes the oath twice and invoices the City for her expenses X2 and a huge scandal breaks out the likes of which would make Mike Duffy blush. Stay tuned for the election/erection results. https://i.cbc.ca/1.5347431.1576615187!/fileImage/httpImage/image.JPG_gen/derivatives/16x9_780/catherine-mckenney-nov-4-2019.JPG
As for masterbation, Woody Allen (not to be confused with other Jewish friends of yours) said ”Don’t knock masturbation — it’s sex with someone I love.”
Bambi thanks you Fred!