Category: Sackville’s Memorial park

Director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, Dr. Fred Luskin is an international expert of forgiveness, namely of self and of others. Bambi is inspired by his research and practice. Indeed, she is currently reading his uplifting book, “Forgive for Good” (https://tinyurl.com/ye9t9dvr) that she highly recommends, if you are interested.

How does Dr. Luskin define forgiveness? For him, it is the “peace and understanding that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story” (https://tinyurl.com/59t889bu). In other terms, as per Dr. Luskin, “forgiving is making peace when you didn’t get what you want… t’s making peace with the fact that you were disappointed or hurt or abandoned, or whatever it is – it’s returning to equilibrium” (https://tinyurl.com/44zwns92).

In the enriching four-year-old interview he gave to “Mediation Online” reported above and in the following paragraphs (https://tinyurl.com/44zwns92), Dr. Luskin was invited to reflect on the meaning of Yom Kippur, which is the day devoted to atonement in Judaism.

For those who do not know it, this day is all about asking for forgiveness for the sins against G-D (= God) and from people that have been wronged. This day of fasting and prayers is generally spent in a place of worship called synagogue. Here are Dr. Luskin’ ‘s positive words: “I think Yom Kippur is a very powerful holiday and the most important part about it is that it normalizes the fact we harm others and ourselves. If you honestly look at your own behavior and see where you have missed the mark, and you try in any way you can to make amends to G-d or to people, you become a better person. You become more humble, more sincere and if you really do it you become less defensive. It can be presented as a practice of great mental health. Normalizing it is really important. This is good human practice, and if you actually do it, your relationships will benefit (https://tinyurl.com/44zwns92).

To another question on the difference with the way Catholics approach the reception of forgiveness, Dr. Luskin expressed the following thoughts: “Yom Kippur is different to the Catholics who might go to their priest once a month for a few minutes. On Yom Kippur, you are not eating for 25 hours, not doing any of the things that you would normally do which distract you – that’s a pretty deep dive. It’s a ritual yes, and you could say that 364 days I am an idiot but if you really, really look at your behavior and probably start with the people you love – you will have sincere regret and sincere desire to do better. So it may be once a year, but if you grow up in that tradition, and you have started doing that since the age of 12 or 13, and you are 40 years of age, that is a powerful practice, if you actually do it. I also don’t believe that the Jewish tradition is that you observe Yom Kippur once a year and that gives you a license to behave any way that you want all the other days. It does not. It is a very pro social phase, but that one day, looking at yourself honestly in the eye, is not like going to a priest and having them absolve you. This is you looking yourself in the eye and if over the years you get more honest with yourself, then the process gets deeper, so I think it a wonderful process” (https://tinyurl.com/44zwns92).

How well explained. How elegantly phrased. How inspiring. Of course, many other religions, philosophies, and cultures also encourage forgiveness. Of note, one of the most powerful examples related to forgiveness, if we chose this healing journey, which is an act of self-love and personal freedom (from hurt or long grievances), came from the most famous Jewish man of all times (i.e., the Messiah or God for Christians). Indeed, Jesus is known to have said while on the cross: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing”.

Another teaching moment about forgiveness is when Mr. Gibran Tueni, a late veteran Lebanese journalist, editor, and diplomat called to “bury hate and revenge” at the funeral of his cowardly assassinated son (i.e., Gibran Tueni, also a journalist and a free thinker).

Regardless of our motivations to want to forgive or not to forgive, Dr. Luskin mentions two key ingredients: (1) empathy (i.e. less narcissism and no self-centeredness) and gratitude (i.e., the capacity to “balance the painful things in life with the good things in life“) (https://tinyurl.com/44zwns92). If there is one sentence that resonates with Bambi from Dr. Luskin’s book (p. 69), it is the following one: “Forgiveness is even though you are wounded you chose to hurt and suffer less“.

To conclude this post, for the readers who will be highlighting Yom Kippur tonight at sunset, “Gemar chatimah tovah” and may your fast be as smooth as possible; of course, if you are not sick and you can or want to fast. Bambi is not into fasting despite her own personalized spirituality. Yes, she loves food too much to fast. She has a good excuse tonight: she is not Jewish : )! However, she feels for you, dear readers who are fasting. All the best and enjoy your own journey, each one of you, especially the fruitful self-reflection, and any commitment to becoming a better version of yourselves. May you be filled with increased humanity, respect, and love toward both yourselves and others.

Bambi remains thankful to her Montreal-based friend Greta who kindly introduced her to “Oumen”, a brief song-prayer by Fairuz, in a comment on this blog two years ago.

The great Fairuz remains on Bambi’s mind since she lost her son, artist Ziad Rahbani, honoured on this blog on July 26, 2025. May the spirit of faith, hope for the best, and aspirations for love and healing, expressed in her beautiful song, comforts her aching heart one day at time.

As for the much talented Ms. Danie Abou Assy, a Lebanon-based soprano and vocalist, Bambi is delighted to come across her music on YouTube. Both her powerful voice and the heart-warming lyrics are precisely what Bambi needed to listen to this evening (an English translation can be found here if you are interested: https://tinyurl.com/3vy6fcnm).

To conclude this brief musical post, and if she may, she will now dedicate this song to her inspiring dad in Beirut ❤️. Lots of continuous courage, positive vibes, smooth healing wishes, and MUCH love to him (et al.). May the God he believes in, deep in his heart, keep watching over him at all times… and especially tomorrow.

They are adorable, each alone and together.

They love each other deeply.

They now decided to take their love to another level of commitment for life.

OK, Bambi is a bit biased here since Karen is her niece and George is already family.

Yes George is like another nephew to Bambi and her spouse. However, despite this bias, she can assure you dear readers, that they are an awesome couple. She loves them beyond words and blog posts ❤️❤️!

Bearing the above in mind, thanks to Rania, Bambi’s sister (i.e. Karen’s mother and George’s mother-in-law!) for her talent and beautiful words, as you can see below.

Blessings and best wishes to Karen/George! YES, “Mabrouk” to them and indirectly to all their family members and loved ones in Lebanon, Dubai, USA, Canada, and elsewhere around the world. Of course, this includes Ivy, the CUTEST dog in the Levant. OK, that was another little bias :), even if she is truly awesome as well.

Long live Karen and George’s genuine and deep love!!

Who has not encountered “provocateurs” in his life thus far? Lucky you if you haven’t yet. Who knows? Maybe you are a chronic provocateur to someone else, in your daily life, and you either are not aware of it or you take pleasure in it? How do you solve this unhealthy interaction if you care to repair your relationship, moving forward with the other person? Or, alternatively, how do you protect your well-being/sanity, moving away from the other person if too toxic for you?

The behaviour described above can happen to anyone of us at the individual, or at times even at small group, level. This behaviour can also happen at a larger scale among big groups, either within a state or among different ones. Sadly, this is what we keep seeing in Lebanon and its neighbourhood and in places where provocations may be counter-productive like at UN meetings among supposedly highly skilled diplomats from all over the world.

You may wonder what Bambi is talking about? First, let’s start with Lebanon. Hezbollah is mourning there, over 18 days of commemoration, the killing of Mr. Nasrallah (and then another colleague, his replacement who was also killed) by Israel during war last year.

To begin with, whenever there is death and especially a killing in an act of war, whether of a prosocial figure or or a warrior, there are families, friends, lovers, and fans who are mourning. Bambi has the utmost respect for the grief of everyone, including lovers of warriors, criminals, or even killers of her own loved one, may God forbid.

She does not know about you, but she consciously refuses to stop seeing the humanity, or at least potential for it, in everyone. Yes everyone, even and especially in those who have harmed her loved ones or even killed them, whether intentionally or not (like during civil wars). She is thinking of many loved deceased ones, and especially of her beloved aunt Ramona who lost her life in Beirut in 1978. May her memory be eternal. In other terms, Bambi does not have hate toward any group or country related to her death or the death of other civilians. She may have not endorsed their policies or violent acts (of occupation or of fighting, etc.). Yet no hate. She wishes healing and prays for peace for all.

To come back to Mr. Nasrallah and his friend, these deceased Lebanese figures are literally adored by their loved ones. In other terms, they might be perceived as enemies by some. Yet, they are perceived as heroes by others. Mr. Nasrallah was clearly a highly controversial figure who had a lot of charisma (way more than his current replacement, by the way). All these men are religious figures. So they are honoured, if not worshipped, by many folks.

Sadly, these religious men also happen to be enablers, or rather actors, for Iran in their birth country to a point beyond imagination, especially for us living far away from the Middle East. They literally seem to forget about the interests of their own Lebanon when the ideology spread by Iran blinds their minds and hearts. They seem to be more loyal to the interests of a foreign country, apparently because they share the same religious ideology, with its leaders. Does that make any sense to you?

Specifically, they put Iran’s interests before those of their own, highly diverse, country. In other terms, they sadly “forget” about Lebanon’s sovereignty, rule of law, and tradition of co-existence. They have/still have weapons and state that they want to keep holding to them (https://tinyurl.com/bdvrh8ut). They want to keep the monopoly over decisions of wars. They want to keep fighting Israel (and America) until the end of time (https://tinyurl.com/bdvrh8ut). So what do the rest of their fellow Lebanese citizens do then? Migrate all over the world to live in safety? Stay in their beloved and beautiful country, eternally living, and risk dying, with and because of the consequences? Don’t they, and their offspring, deserve to live in peace and thrive once and for all?

Bambi will spare you all the silly events of some latest illegal provocations in Beirut related to the commemoration mentioned above. She does not want to get into those details that occurred over a touristic site in the capital. Perhaps Hezbollah mourners arrogantly provoked the government and their other fellow citizens to hide their pain and losses (https://tinyurl.com/3mct5dc9)? Bambi has never been into Schadenfreude. However, the message here does not seem meant for Israel or for the rest of the world. It seems to be specifically addressed to the rest of Beirutis, and to the relatively still new government there: we will keep imposing our ideology/cult of death on you, even if it leads to our own death… and yours.

Unfortunately, the Islamist mindset seems to be incompatible with the psychological concept of “radical acceptance”, which is all about efforts to accept a harsh or sad reality we cannot change, along with tough emotions like grieving losses, which ultimately reduce our suffering. It is Bambi’s hope that this is so because the pain is still unbearable and that more time and emotional distance will help these mourners, who resorted to provocation, in seeing matters from a different perspective: ideally, one day rising above their sorrow and co-building a peaceful Lebanon of tomorrow with their fellow citizens.

Bambi’s post would be incomplete if she does not mention another provocation. This time by the Israeli drones flying over Beirut today at the site of commemoration in which the head of the Hezbollah declared that it is ready for another confrontation with Israel that “wants to annex Lebanon” (https://tinyurl.com/bdvrh8ut).

Similarly, before concluding, Bambi wants to mention the sad provocation she read about this week in the Middle East between Houthis and Israelis and what she observed on YouTube before sleep last night. First and foremost, how sad to see innocent Israeli civilians injured and suffering. Same for the innocent Houthi citizens. Again, it comes down to Iran playing all its proxy cards in the region and Israel fighting or re-provoking back. Will the Houthis re-provoke again? This is sadly what happens in absurd wars and this senseless regional war does not seem to want to end.

Last but not least, to wake herself up while working very late, she decided to listen to Mr. Benjamin Netanyahu’s speech at the UN. She noticed how so many diplomats left the room before he opened his mouth. If she was not mistaken, the “Lebanese” seats were empty. Being someone who reads all media and all sources, including the tweets (or X comments) of Mr. Khameini of Iran, she found it childish and sad. Everyone deserves to be heard, even and especially our enemies or opponents. First, we want to learn from them and understand the reality from all its angles. Second, we want to work to find solutions. If at the UN we cannot debate anymore, where would we? On the streets filled with passionate people who do not know anything about the Middle East yet get too excited about it? At our universities where we are cancelled if we do not endorse the exact same ideas of a majority or we question parts of it? Why did we lose the virtue of patience and listening to one another at a place like the UN?

Thankfully, Mr. Bob Rae (representing Canada at the UN) stayed in the room. Bambi salutes his personal wisdom, even if she questions the collective wisdom in our world, including us here in Canada and surely in the doomed Middle East (https://tinyurl.com/msk8fpne).

With or without wisdom, and sadly with much unwise provocations, may you have a lovely day, dear readers. Thank you for your time reading this long Saturday’s post.

While the eyes of the world are watching what is unfolding on the ground in the Middle East and/or at the diplomatic front at the UN General Assembly, Mr. Ali Khamenei is busy spreading online his extreme ideology and death cult to the entire world. He does it speaking in the name of the innocent Iranian, Lebanese, and Palestinian people. He tells us that “nations grow through” the “struggles” of “martyrdom” and that “their glory and splendor increase through these martyrdoms“:

Not only that, one of the officials of his country even stated that “supplying Hezbollah with rockets not impossible” (https://tinyurl.com/bdd3y2fs). This when the Lebanese state is struggling to convince both the Hezbollah and itself that it can disarm the latter by the end of the current year.

When will Mr. Khamenei stop using people’s suffering, in his own nation and in others, to justify his authoritarian regime and his sad vision of the world? When will he stop fuelling wars by proxy, both logistically and ideologically?

Enough manipulation. Enough covert, and at times, overt aggression and senseless wars. Nations of the Middle East deserve to live in dignity, safety, civility, and harmony. They deserve to choose peace and the will to live.

All her life, Bambi dreamed for peace in her birth country, in the Middle East with justice for the Palestinian people. Today, at age 53, her dream is still the same: healing, love, justice and peace for both Israel and Palestine. May this peace extend to her birth country, the region, and the entire world.

Bearing the above in mind, will the recognition of Palestine by Canada today be more than a symbol? Is it too little, too late now? Or will this recognition serve to reward terror instead of fostering peace? Bambi is neither a political expert nor a military one. She just knows that there are still hostages being held captive and Hamas is still threatening to harm them (https://tinyurl.com/um7bfrmt). She also knows that Israel is still conducting a harsh war in Gaza. Some call it genocide. Others think it would be suicidal to stop. Yet others, like the Hezbollah leaders, talk about a concept of greater Israel. Yet others criticize Israel for its military acts in Lebanon and in other countries, including Qatar. Tragically today, five people died in a drone attack on a Lebanese village in the south, including three young American-Lebanese siblings. Bambi cannot even dare to imagine one drop of the shock and sorrow of their parents (https://tinyurl.com/y83kbk95).

So what does the statement of Mr. Carney really mean? And what would be its implications domestically? And what about Canada’s negotiations with the USA on the economic front? Why this sudden recognition now on a Sunday? Was this a negotiated decision among Ottawa lawmakers or was it a unilateral decision (only arranged with the UK and Australia)? Why now and why not much earlier, like Haiti and many South American countries in 2011, including Brazil (https://tinyurl.com/mr3x46zx).

Who knows what will happen next? Chances are nothing will change to the daily suffering of the people of the doomed Middle East. Until time will tell what might happen or not in the longer term, Bambi will end this post with a song dedicated to the Palestinian people (minus Hamas!). If she may, she also wants to dedicate this song to the people of Lebanon, Syria, Israel, Qatar, Yemen, Egypt, Iran, etc. Yes, all the innocent folks of all these nations. Everyone deserves peace.

The fall season is magical with its red, orange, and yellow colours.

May the beautiful colours brighten your days, filling you with both warmth and freshness.

As for the new year, if you happen to be soon celebrating it, may it bring peace, love, healing, and hope.

On Rosh Hashana [New Year], a delicious bread called Challah is usually eaten. Same for apples dipped in honey in order to symbolize the wish for a fruitful, sweet year.

May the new fall season or the entire year be filled with peace of mind and gratitude.

As described on YouTube in French (and thanks to Mr. Google Translate for the English version): “Artists are joining forces to support the Quebec-Africa Project. Together, they demonstrate the power of music as a tool for solidarity and change. 💛🎶 Their participation in this song reflects the commitment of a community ready to reach out, across borders, to build a better future. 🌍✨ “Quand on est en amour” by Patrick Norman – a collective anthem to love, unity, and hope, performed by more than 150 artists around the globe”.

For those of you who are interested, an English translation of the lyrics can be found here: https://tinyurl.com/3zh4vczw . Long live love. Long live friendship among persons and nations. Bravo for this beautiful international collaboration!

Bulgaria arrested Mr. Igor Grechushkin (https://shorturl.at/KHJoe) who had been questioned in Cyprus back in 2020 at the request of the Lebanese officials (https://shorturl.at/WvI5Z).

Mr. Grechushkin’s abandoned ship initially brought the ammonium nitrate that detonated at Beirut port on the doomed August 4th 2020. The outcome was a catastrophe beyond imagination: the destruction of a large part of the Lebanese capital, the killing over 200 innocent people, including toddlers, and the injury of over 6,500 people. Some of the latter are still hospitalized. Can you imagine?

It is unclear what will happen next. If Bambi understands well, her birth country seems to have 40 days to seek Mr. Grechushkin’s extradition to question him, according to the Bulgarian law (https://shorturl.at/BK9fq).

Regardless of the next legal steps or the role played by this man (if any), the Lebanese top officials had seven years to act responsibly to prevent this man-made tragedy. Sadly, they did not. All those who knew about the ammonium nitrate closed their eyes. Some even closed their hearts in the days following the tragedy. Will the delayed, and at times attacked, justice be served one day?

As a reminder, it is the heart-warming Lebanese people themselves who rushed to Beirut, from all the regions, to support their fellow citizens and to help them clean and heal. They filled the gap left by their government. They literally became the government.

It is also the generous and compassionate international community who rushed to Lebanon to help. Volunteers and workers, from all over the world, provided medical aid, food, other essential material, and shelter. They validated the traumatic experience of Beirutis. Many citizens of the world, including Canadians, generously made donations or found creative ways to raise funds.

Similarly, many world governments helped, including Canada. Thanks to everyone.

May lessons be learned from this tragedy to prevent future ones in Lebanon and elsewhere. May the memory of all those who died be eternal. Much love to the families of the victims and to those still in the coma or permanently disabled. Most significantly, may justice finally be served and in a fair way, without scapegoating OR excluding anyone (no one is above the law).

Halifax, Nova Scotia, has a population of about 500,000 residents, including 1,500 Jewish Haligonians who are served by three synagogues (https://tinyurl.com/4swbwutf).

According to the CBC, two synagogues, along with a centre for Jewish teaching, were vandalized overnight in Halifax. In the article that Bambi just read, you could see the disturbing swastika symbol and a senseless graffiti claiming that “Jews did 911” (https://tinyurl.com/ms9hvfx5).

Of course, the swastika or the Nazi hooked cross (“Hakenkreuz”) is unacceptable, especially that its use is meant to intimidate and instill fear within our fellow Canadian Jews. By extension, it means within all of us as Canadians.

As for the other absurd graffiti, it seems to refer to one of the common conspiracy theories about the 9/11 tragedy. Who knows? Maybe you are someone who believes the latter. Endorsing one idea is one thing (i.e., our thoughts are free, one must recall). However, using ideas stemming from a false theory (i.e., not based on facts, not testable, not falsifiable) in order to frighten others is another thing. A line has been crossed here. Sadly, in Canada, this line has been crossed several times over the past two years. It is highly worrisome.

To conclude this post, Bambi strongly denounces vandalism to places of worship and shootings in schools in other provinces, as per older posts shown below. All Canadians deserve to live without the fear of intimidation, including the Jewish community members. Indeed, both Halifax and Canada at large deserve to be free from antisemitic graffiti.

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Regardless if it would be called “hateful” or “terrorist”, following investigation, NO to VIOLENCE in Canadian schools, including the Jewish school for girls in North York which was re-targeted again

Once again, no to violence against Canada’s Jewish community in Toronto and Montreal!

Mr. Eli and Ms. Michal Tsurkan: bravo for advocating for your daughter’s safety and for calling for respect and kindness to all, including New Brunswickers of Jewish Israeli origins