Category: Sackville’s Memorial park

Geographically speaking, Gaza is located about 5, 800 miles—about 9,300 km—away from Montreal, Canada. It would likely take two, or even three, airplane flights to get there. Yet, a 39-year-old Québecker got too passionate about the Israel-Hamas conflict that he torched an Israeli flag in front of Hampstead town hall, twice not just once. He even bragged about it on social media (https://tinyurl.com/5n72ynfc; https://tinyurl.com/58y6v5zk).

But, to begin with, why does the city of Hampstead still have the Israeli flag outside of town hall, one may wonder? It seems that this was the choice made by the Mayor et al. on October 7, 2023.

As a reminder, on the tragic 7th of October, 2023, a large number of innocent Israeli civilians were the victims of a horrible massacre: deaths (about 1200!), rapes, injuries, kidnapping from out homes or from a musical festival, and acts of indignity to dead bodies. The rest of the story is part of the current tragic history of a cruel ongoing war against Hamas taking place in Gaza, which has lead to: (1) surreal proportions of mass destruction, a shocking number of deaths (over 60,000!), awful injuries, suffering beyond words, famine, etc.; and (2) it is estimated that about 20 Israeli hostages remain alive in captivity (https://tinyurl.com/kkjdhecx).

To come back to Hampstead, its mayor claims that his administration did not receive any complaint. However, like anything else in this world, the gesture of raising the flag of Israel outside town hall is probably welcomed by some and unwanted by others. Indeed, it seems that there is a petition that has circulated among some residents, demanding the removal of the Israeli flag (https://tinyurl.com/bdhrd73r). Bambi is unsure of the precise number of those who dislike the display of this flag. Who knows? Perhaps there are residents who do not care, especially that we are used to seeing many flags displayed in Canada. From the media mentioned in this post, the (Jewish) young man who is behind the petition seems to be an articulate and peaceful fellow.

The question that Bambi cannot help not to wonder now is the following: why would a 39-year-old man who lives miles away from Gaza be passionate about the Israel-Hamas war to the point of resorting to criminal behaviour to make the Israeli flag disappear. Why can’t he be wiser, especially at his age? Why doesn’t he tolerate seeing—even if he dislikes it—this foreign flag? If Bambi understood well, this citizen does not seem to be a resident of Hampstead. Why couldn’t he ignore the Israeli flag when he walked in this neighbourhood? More significantly, why can’t he use, or keep using, democratic means to publicly express his anti-Israel opinion (e.g., writing, walking in demonstrations, or signing the petition)? What made him dive into maladaptive behaviour?

To conclude this post with additional questions, how does burning a flag in Canada support innocent Gazans? And how could the torching acts allow this man to keep supporting his cause, which seems to mean a lot to him? Last but not least, are the Middle East troubles worth having a criminal case with a long legal, financial, and psychological journey to defend oneself?

It is hard for Bambi to find words, in either French or English, to wish you Claire a Wonderful 96th Birthday! Thank you for existing in her and our lives. Thank you for the incredible inspiration, at so many levels, for your big heart, along with your sharp mind, for having enriched this blog with your sweet comments, and supported it when it was in danger. Bambi loves you so much and sends you her best wishes across the miles ❤️!!!

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a catch 22 is “a problematic situation for which the only solution is denied by a circumstance inherent in the problem or by a rule”. In other terms, it is “an illogical situation, or a problem in which the solution is denied by the problem itself” (https://tinyurl.com/2542ske2).

To give an example of Catch 22, newcomers to Canada often hear the following statement while looking for a job: “oh sorry, you do not have the Canadian experience to have this job“. However, you need a (first) job to get the “Canadian experience“. Like many other folks, Bambi heard this statement upon her arrival to Montreal in 1990 several times. She tried to solve this catch 22 dilemma by naming it during a job interview with her prospective employer, manager of a maternity store at a mall. She did it as an answer to the question about her former sales experience and ended it by asking how to solve this? Would you dare take the risk of hiring me so I can begin to have the “Canadian experience” and grow through it? If you say yes, I am fully ready for the job. She immediately replied: “you are hired! When can you start. Is tomorrow morning, OK?”

Tragically, Lebanon’s issues are much bigger than a job offer to a 17-year old permanent resident. Indeed, this tiny yet resilient Mediterranean country is now facing the question of disarming the Hezbollah (in addition to other illegal groups). Hezbollah is strongly opposing disarmament claiming that Israel needs to leave Lebanon first since it is still occupying five hills in the southern part of the country (https://tinyurl.com/595utv74). At the same time, Israel is stating that it needs Hezbollah to disarm before leaving Lebanon: “If the Lebanese Armed Forces “take the necessary steps to implement the disarmament of Hezbollah, Israel will engage in reciprocal measures, including a phased reduction of IDF presence in coordination with the US-led security mechanism” (https://tinyurl.com/fw36p9h7), Bambi just read in the Times of Israel.

What a complicated and touchy catch 22 dilemma, isn’t it? It would be a bit easier had life been simple in the Middle East. But how could it be simple with the following conclusion of Mr. Naim Qassem, head of the Hezbollah: “We have many supporters who represent more than half of the Lebanese people, as well as influential political forces. All are united to protect the weapons and the Lebanese resistance. Anyone who wants to disarm us would be tearing out our soul” (https://tinyurl.com/595utv74).

So, what is next for Lebanon under the current circumstances, one may wonder? How could this dignified, and now hopeful, country achieve the goal of its overdue disarmament plan in a timely manner? Is it truly at risk of strife, as Hezbollah has claimed a few days ago (https://tinyurl.com/362u2rvr), or is it just a political game of bluff?

Many pending questions. Only time will tell what will happen in the Land of the Cedars, both in the short and longer term. Bambi is neither a military nor a political expert. She just knows that her troubled birth country deserves safety, peace, and prosperity. No more wars and violence. No more bloodshed and tears. Enough. Just enough.

LA-based Rudy Ayoub is visiting Lebanon, it seems. His (real) dad does not seem to resemble the narcissitic character of his funny videos (played by Mr. Ayoub). Indeed, in the first short YouTube video, he seems to be a nice father who loves his son and encourages his creative work. Bambi wishes them wonderful moments together in their beautiful village of origin. Safe travels back home!

Today is a day of bittersweet anniversaries of transitions.

A transition of love through a celebration of an unforgettable, beautiful wedding. Hello to Michael/Stéphanie and their ADORABLE baby. Happy second wedding anniversary!

A deeply sad yet existential transition from life to death… to eternal life. A continuous presence, stronger than life, but in an invisible way. Hi to Mama in heaven 💜.

Another life-death transition is also remembered with great respect. May the memory of Rony’s mom be eternal as well.

Thankfully, today happens to also be a joyful day of a chronological transition. Happy birthday Nayla, enjoy!

All these transitions of life and death have a simple yet powerful name called LOVE. Indeed, is there anything more uplifting in life than the love of family and/or friends?

MUCH love to Bambi’s dad (hero of love 💚!) and to her sisters et al. across the miles.

May mom keep watching over all her loved ones, especially dad. May we all keep transitioning through life with inner peace, a sense of trust, love, and hope.

For readers who may not be familiar with Canadian political figures, Mr. Jack Layton is described in the The Canadian Encyclopedia as follows: “John Gilbert “Jack” Layton, educator, municipal and federal politician, New Democratic Party leader (born at Montréal, 18 Jul 1950; died at Toronto 22 Aug 2011). Jack Layton, leader of the federal New Democratic Party from 2003-2011, headed the first NDP party to sit as Canada’s Official Opposition in the House of Commons” (https://tinyurl.com/bdh7htsr).

In a last, and most beautiful, letter to Canadians, the late yet unforgettable Mr. Jack Layton wrote: “My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world” (https://tinyurl.com/4eb9ejb7). Is there anything more uplifting and inspiring than those words, especially coming from a man of integrity and humanity in public service?

Mr. Layton strongly believed that “Canada is a great country, one of the hopes of the world“. We may or may not fully agree with his politics or vision for Canada. However, we cannot not have the utmost respect for him.

Thank you, Mr. Layton for your beliefs and principles. Canada, with the entire world, needs principled leaders like you. We call them statespersons and they can/do exist within any political party. Right and left. Centre. Maybe independent. All the latter become secondary when what matters the most is put first, namely the best interests of one’s beloved country.

Bambi just took a work break to read the international news, specifically from her birth country. She learned from L’Orient Today that a religious man, close to Hezbollah, said the following: “Hezbollah’s weapons are God’s weapons” (https://tinyurl.com/bdddpfcb). Wow, quite a statement, isn’t it?

To begin with, this statement was said in the context of a new—and overdue era in Lebanon, namely its disarmament plan from now until the end of the 2025 year. It seems that it was a sort of a public communication between two different religious men (https://tinyurl.com/bdddpfcb), one supporting the government’s move and the other resisting it.

Let’s recall that Hezbollah is military very weakened following its war with Israel since October 8, 2023 (when it dragged Lebanon into not just war, but also re-occupation). Yet, as a stubborn Islamist group, Hezbollah—”Party of God” in Arabic—wants to keep fighting (Israel) until the end of time. This despite its much restricted access to new weapons via the Mediterranean sea or the land, namely through the border with Syria.

If you are not familiar with the context of the Middle East, Bambi will share that religions are too important there (sadly). This even if some people do not believe in God and most, regardless of their beliefs, want a truly secular state system.

So if we happen to not believe in God, how can we swallow the Mufti’s statement that Hezbollah’s weapons are God’s weapons? And even if we believe in God, why would the latter need to have weapons? Isn’t the power of his beautiful, unconditional love enough?

It is hard to know if we should smile, laugh, or cry to such absurdity or cognitive distortion. Bambi is saying so even if she fully understands Hezbollah’s “resistance” to give its arms to the Lebanese authorities. By doing so, this militia would lose the remainder of its military superpower.

How can Bambi miss the opportunity to send a grateful blink to heaven today?

As highlighted in her post of May 24, 2025 (shared below), the heart of Mr. Joe Dassin—the inspiring French-American singer-songwriter/guitarist—stopped beating forty-five years ago. This sad day was August 20, 1980.

Merci/Thank you Mr. Dassin for having existed. May your memory be as eternal as your beautiful songs, which clearly outlived you.

—

Mr. Julien Dassin: Isn’t it moving when the son honours the late father with his songs?

Maybe you do not care, but today happens to be the National Soft Ice Cream Day.

First of all, “as of 2021, there are 20 ice cream days on the calendar including National Frozen Yogurt Day and National Frozen Custard Day. Most of them land in July which is also National Ice Cream Month” (https://tinyurl.com/3rceyfw7).

Second, the song featured in this post seems to be meant to celebrate “bouza” or ice cream in the Arabic language. Bambi admits that the latter sounds a bit silly for adults while being very cute for all, young and old. However, at the end of a long Monday, “silly” melodies are more than welcome. Indeed, she cannot stop listening to this song now, over and over, each time laughing hard. She is eager to share the short YouTube video, with its dancing characters, with her spouse to learn if he will find it amusing or boring.

This being said, and if she may, she offers this song to her dad now because he knows how to appreciate all types of “bouza”. As for you dear readers, may the ice cream melody put a smile on your faces :).

Long live ice cream in all its shapes, especially the delicious soft version!

French psychiatrist/psychoanalyst Paul-Claude Racamier was born on May 20, 1924. He died on August 18, 1996 (https://tinyurl.com/3ts59vvm).

It is Dr. Racamier who came up with the term “pervers narcissique”. One must say “pervers OR perverse narcissique” rather since this personality disorder is not gender-based. In other terms, anyone can be narcissitic. Although his term does not seem to have an equivalent in the English-speaking literature, we can perhaps think that it refers to “extreme narcissism”, that is individuals with a narcissitic personality disorder or highly toxic persons. The latter act like predators and even enjoy making the life of their victims miserable. They are surely not just people with narcissitic traits, which could be anyone of us. They are “extreme narcissists”, let’s remember.

Thankfully, people with a narcissitic personality disorder remain the exception in our societies (1% to 6% of the population). However, they are hard to spot when we encounter them. Indeed, they might be charming or even charismatic. We might be more vulnerable than usual when we meet them. They might be skilled at detecting our flaws or insecurities. They often intensely engage in seduction or idealization. This initial stage, commonly called “love bombing”, can happen within any type of relationship, not only a romantic one.

Of note, it might take victims time to understand with whom they are dealing. This often occurs after they have been under the influence of their predators. Yes, it is extremely painful, and even dangerous, to be the target of such manipulators.

Using Dr. Racamier own words: “The narcissistic pervert movement is an organized way of defending oneself from any internal pain or contradiction, and expelling it to smoulder elsewhere, while at the same time over-valuing oneself. All this at the expense of others and not only without pain but with pleasure… The object of narcissistic perversion is interchangeable: nothing more and nothing less than a puppet. It’s a utensil”.

As well explained by Dr. Racamier in his book entitled “The Genius of Origins”, “there is nothing to be gained from associating with narcissistic perverts; one can only hope to escape unscathed“. Of course, to escape these toxic relationships for good, one must be mentally ready, equipped with clarity about the patterns of communication, or functioning, of these toxic people.

Depending on each unique story, victims must have a safe exit plan (i.e., abuse often increases at the moment of separation) and a reliable support system, which may even include a clinician like a psychologist.

This being said, leaving toxic relationships is very hard. Thankfully, help is available. One must also keep in mind that escape may not be a viable or preferred option for different reasons, including children or financial reasons. Luckily, clarity and learned coping strategies can help protect the victims’ sanity while staying in these relationship. Of course, in cases involving immediate danger of harm, running away is a must.

Ending a toxic relationship is a huge step forward, bravo. However, it is just half of the battle. One must remain disciplined day after day, night after night, to truly leave for good and resist any return back into the relationship whether initiated by the predator or even by the victim. Walking away is a long journey. Like any other grief process, it needs time, patience, discipline, support, self-reflection/therapy, and lots of self-compassion mixed with self-forgiveness.