The essence of life is love.
Loving oneself and loving others, whether other human beings and/or pets.
But how can we learn to self-love? How can we re-discover it, re-connect and re-invest it, if we have lost track of it after chronic stress, maybe by putting others’ needs before our best interests for too long, maybe being too harsh with ourselves without forgiveness?
A “loving” relationship with ourselves helps to simplify our connections with others. It make us more human in our own eyes, to begin with, and then in our attitude or behaviours toward others.
When we are connected to our own humanity, we are able to be connected to others’ humanity. We accept people as they are. We love them in secure and balanced ways, just like how we love ourselves. We do it without being too dependent or too avoidant.
When we love ourselves unconditionally, we can do the same with others. We trust and listen to ourselves. We validate our feelings. We value who we are. We establish boundaries, as needed, to protect our dignity. It is called self-respect.
We work on our empathy, if the latter does not come naturally. We respect others in their own dignity. We treat them with humanity. We keep seeing their humanity, even if we are upset or when we disagree with them. We connect to them with fairness and honesty. Exactly like how we connect with ourselves and wish to be treated.
Of note, the language of Molière has a beautiful term for the word “kindness”. It is called “bienveillance“. It is more than kindness. It is sweetness or gentleness. Based on it and on respect, we learn to build trust with others through consistency. We keep working on ourselves to understand our history, wounds, strengths, and vulnerabilities. Based on this knowledge, we become more open to change, It is called psychological flexibility for personal growth. This internal movement starts early and refine until our last breath.
Knowing ourselves makes us stronger, richer, and open toward others and toward love.
Love with a big L. Loving others. Perhaps loving romantically, perhaps not, depending on our life circumstances, seasons or developmental stages, wants, and needs. What matters the most is love ourselves with kindness (or rather “bienveillance”) continuously, and especially in most difficult times of our life journeys.
Love in all its forms and shapes. Loving ourselves, our families, friends, community members, or strangers even. Loving life. Loving joy and pleasure without excesses, without shortages. Loving our countries, other nations, nature, animals, even insects and mice, if we care for them [OK that one is not for Bambi :)]. Loving and enjoying music, humour, food, and more seriously the principles that matter to us. Loving our entire planet, even the space beyond it. Loving God, if we want to. Loving his absence, or laughing at the idea of his presence, if we prefer.
Bearing all the above in mind, may we all be filled with love ahead of Valentine’s Day. May we enjoy receiving and giving love. May we become love all year long.
Happy Valentine’s to all you, dear readers, with much love ❤️. Thanks for taking the time to visit this blog and enriching it by reading or writing a comment, if you wish.
