She does not know about you, but Bambi loves to listen to the radio, especially when she is working. This post is inspired by an online show she listened to yesterday on a Lebanese-American radio station. The topic of the radio show was around regrets.
Of note, the joint Beirut-based radio host reminded her American colleague and the listeners of the nuances in the French language, namely between the terms “regrets” (regrets) and “remords” (remorse). If Bambi recalls well, it was mentioned that regret would be more about an action (or perhaps an inaction?) that we regret, but could still repair somehow. As they both said, the repair must not take too long to occur as sometimes it may be too late. In contrast, remorse would be a guilt feeling when things cannot be repaired or changed. At least, this is what the Beirut-based host recalls from the lessons taught by her French teacher since her childhood.
Interestingly, one of these two wise hosts said that if we consciously aim not to respond too fast, perhaps when too activated by anger in a heated moment, we could perhaps be less likely to feel regrets later. An example that can illustrate the latter is now coming to Bambi’s mind: it is about a suggested temporary timeout, such as asking to have the important chat perhaps in a few hours or the next day. This delayed time can help both parties in calming down. To what extent do you agree with the statement, regardless of the example you might have in your own mind?
No, Bambi will not answer her own question :). She will just share the following with you: since yesterday, she has been curious about the topic of regrets and its linguistic nuances. She now checked the Office Québecois de la Langue Française (https://shorturl.at/z5et7). Imagine, this governmental office has a web page on the semantic differences among the terms “regret, remorse, and repentance” (French is followed by a quick English translation):
“Les noms regret, remords et repentir font tous référence à un certain sentiment d’insatisfaction ou de culpabilité, mais ils ont des particularités sémantiques. Le regret est un sentiment lié à la perte d’une personne ou d’une chose, le remords est lié à de la culpabilité, et le repentir comporte l’idée de la recherche de la réparation d’une erreur commise”.
“The terms regret, remorse and repentance all refer to a certain feeling of dissatisfaction or guilt, but they have semantic particularities. Regret is a feeling linked to the loss of a person or a thing, remorse is linked to guilt, and repentance involves the idea of seeking repair for a mistake made”.
An example of a regret may be regretting not having visited a nice place, with a loved one, when we had the opportunity to do it perhaps when younger or healthier. Perhaps now it is it too late due to a physical barrier, lack of funds, or maybe the end of that relationship. Two other examples of regret could be the following: first, we might regret having harmed someone we care about with an attitude or an action. Who knows: perhaps repair is still possible in the future? Second, someone may resign from a position and write in a letter that this was done with “much regrets“.
As far as remorse is concerned, the latter may be related to a more pervasive feeling of guilt that can last very long, even a lifetime for some. An extreme tragic example may be the case of a driver or a boat captain who, for some reason, triggered a deadly crash.
Last but not least, repentance involves a sincere resolve to change. It usually translates in a changed thinking or behaviour. An example could be someone apologizing to a relative for having stolen money and paying it back.
To conclude this post, it is Bambi’s deep conviction that life is the best school, offering us opportunities for enriching lessons, even if the latter could be tough at times. Thankfully, we can all keep learning all our lives from our own mistakes and from others’. Yes, we can grow through life lessons, live in harmony or re-connect with our deep values while improving our discernment. Hopefully, this can help us in living fully, that is without any regret or remorse, but rather with self-respect, authenticity with ourselves and others, and a sense of personal responsibility.
